... Like he was afraid to lose someone.

He had never lost, he had never lost, he had never lost, Kirie was losing so much blood and he didn't know what to do, red warning lights flashing, the shriek of emergency sirens drowning out all the human anguish in the bridge and emergency sealant expanding but it still felt like all the air in the room was gone.

" C... Commodore General...?"

Someone needed to answer the radio. Someone needed to answer the radio.

Someone needed to-

He woke up with a start, heaving for air, threw the blankets away and scrambled to get the blood out of his head.

He turned to Nova, lying asleep.

" N... Nova," he said his name quietly. " Nova."

The second time louder, with more urgency.

Ear flick.

He shook his shoulder.

" Nova, I can't sleep," he said. " Nova-"

Nova's hand went up and he grabbed his wrist.

" Stop fucking shaking me, Wille... Go to sleep..."

" I can't sleep!" William repeated. " I feel sick."

" Go throw up or something."

" Nova..."

" Fine. What's got you feeling so bad?" Nova asked blearily, shifting to sit up.

" I can't... I just keep thinking about loss... I had a bad dream..."

Nova wrapped around him.

" ... I have nightmares too," he admitted hesitantly.

" It's real. It's memories. But they're all jumbled up in my head and they feel real again..."

He sobbed.

" I'm pathetic... I'm the worst... I can't stop thinking about it... I didn't even kill him... Why do I feel so bad for someone I didn't even kill myself...? I feel sick!"

Nova pressed a kiss to his forehead.

" You're not pathetic, Wille..." he said quietly. " I'm sorry I've been so cold... Please share all the pain you're in, with me..."